need another drink. this is the easiest way
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
