I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
