I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize