Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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