lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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