Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
