its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
