so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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