i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
