I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
