super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
