but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
