mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
