2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
