Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
