I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
