New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My vagina is officially offended.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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