ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
