I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
