just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
