well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
