Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
