idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
