I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
