Whoa Z and x make the same sound
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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