and you said cock pushups were impossible
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
