okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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