i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
