new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize