Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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