Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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