I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
