she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
