just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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