If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
