I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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