I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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