I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
