My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
