they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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