i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I need water and some morals
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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