So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
