My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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