i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize