they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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