I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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