We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Pants are for mortals
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize