You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
