We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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