Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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