She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The Olympian is in my bed
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