Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
