And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
