Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
