you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
