Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
