I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
