I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
